martedì 10 maggio 2022

Metal Lords, il film pop per metallari dal cuore tenero

 



OH, FINALMENTE HANNO FATTO UN FILM SUL METAL!

VIVA IL METALLOOO! 🤘

CHISSÀ SE È PRESENTE QUALCHE SACRIFICIO UMANO, O SE NON ALTRO ANIMALE? 🐯

METTIAMO UN PO' SU 'STO METAL LORDS E VEDIAMO COME VA, PORCO IL MONDO!


Metal Lords

PARTE IL FILM E C'È SUBITO QUALCOSA CHE NON MI CONVINCE: NON VEDO ANCORA NESSUN RITO SATANICO 😈

CI SONO QUESTI ATTORI TUTTI CARINI E PULITINI, MANCO UNO CHE SEMBRI SAPERE COSA SIGNIFICA DAVVERO NON LAVARSI I CAPELLI PER SETTIMANE - MA CHE DICO? - PER MESI


Mi dicono dalla regia che questo non è un documentario sul metal, né tantomeno un horror, il mio genere preferito, ma una romcom adolescenziale. E che cos'è una romcom? 😕
Una commedia romantica?
Non credo di aver mai visto una commedia in vita mia, in genere io non rido. Ridere non è una cosa per niente metal.
Quanto al romanticismo, mi viene il vomito al solo pensarci. 🤮

LA COLONNA SONORA COMUNQUE SPACCA!!! 💥


E GRAZIE, C'HANNO MESSO DENTRO IRON MAIDEN, METALLICA, PANTERA, JUDAS PRIEST E BLACK SABBATH

A UN CERTO PUNTO COMPAIONO PURE TOM MORELLO DEI RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE, KIRK HAMMETT DEI METALLICA, ROB HALFORD DEI JUDAS PRIEST E SCOTT IAN DEGLI ANTHRAX


QUESTO IO LO CHIAMO VINCERE FACILE, COMUNQUE VA BENE COSÌ

LA MERITATA RICOMPENSA PER ESSERMI DOVUTO SORBIRE QUEL GRUPPO DI TEENAGERS PATINATI CHE SUONA COVER DI ED SHEERAN

Che poi mi dicono dalla regia che Ed Sheeran di recente ha collaborato con i Bring Me the Horizon, è in contatto con i Cradle of Filth e da ragazzino è cresciuto con la musica metal. Devo crederci? 😒

PROPRIO COME ED SHEERAN, IL PROTAGONISTA DEL FILM NON È UN METALLARO VERO, È SOLO UN POSER

QUESTO QUA VI SEMBRA PER CASO UN METALLARO VERO?

È UNO CHE CERCA DI DIVENTARE UN METALLARO PER FAR FELICE IL SUO AMICO, CHE INVECE È UN METALLARO VERO!


COM'È CHE L'UNICO METALLARO VERO DEL FILM È ANCHE UNO STRO**O NON DA POCO E A UN CERTO PUNTO SI FA PURE UNA CAPIGLIATURA CHE LO FA SEMBRARE IL SOSIA DI SKRILLEX?


NOI METALLARI NON SIAMO MICA COSÌ SCORBUTICI E SCONTROSI, BRUTTE TESTE DI CA**O!

Che poi sempre dalla regia mi dicono che Skrillex, prima di diventare un DJ e produttore dubstep, era il cantante di un gruppo post-hardcore screamo, ma io non so se ci voglio credere. 😧

Certo però che è quasi commovente il fatto che il protagonista si avvicini al metal per far felice il suo amico. Tutti noi metallari ci meriteremmo qualcuno del genere nelle nostre vite. 🥰


MA COSA STO DICENDO?

QUESTO FILM MI STA PER CASO FACENDO SCIOGLIERE IL CUORE? 🖤

IO MANCO SAPEVO DI AVERCELO, UN CUORE! 😮

Certo che anche la storiella d'amore è proprio tenera. 😍


NO, DAI!

NON PUÒ PIACERMI SUL SERIO QUESTO FILM

QUESTO NON È UN VERO FILM METAL COME SI DEVE, COME AD ESEMPIO HESHER E LORDS OF CHAOS

E UN FILM POP METAL E QUESTO NON VA MICA BENE

Com'è allora che mi sta scendendo giù una lacrimuccia di commozione? 😢
E non parlo nemmeno di commozione cerebrale. 🤯
(voto 6+/10)




29 commenti:

  1. La prima volta che ti sento citare dei gruppi degni 😬😜😜

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  2. So, according to the director, Ed Sheeran recently cooperated with Bring Me the Horizon, is in communication with Cradle of Filth, and grew up listening to metal music as a kid.

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  3. Ciao
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    Ciao
    IL VOSTRO CREDITO IN 2 GIORNI
    Scegliete l'importo della vostra scelta che va di 5000€ a 500.000,00€
    La vostra domanda sarà convalidare in 24:00
    Prendete contatta con il sig. Didier gomesse all'indirizzo e-mail didiergomesse@gmail.com





    Ciao
    IL VOSTRO CREDITO IN 2 GIORNI
    Scegliete l'importo della vostra scelta che va di 5000€ a 500.000,00€
    La vostra domanda sarà convalidare in 24:00
    Prendete contatta con il sig. Didier gomesse all'indirizzo e-mail didiergomesse@gmail.com

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  4. Even though; I am not a fan of pop-metal songs but I would definitely watch this movie because such musical movies never disappoint. However; before anything else I need to Buy Custom Assignment Online services for my business management work because I’m already over the due date and I need urgent help.

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  13. This was a great film! It was so touching and really hit home for me. I'm a big metalhead myself and this film really spoke to me. It's so rare to see a film that accurately portrays the metalhead lifestyle and does it in such a positive light. Thank you for making this film!

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